Friday, 18 January 2008

Osama and the Donkey

4D and all

HAving such a good write u and intro just belies my technical numpty ness.

Having a few probs uploading the videos so please bear with me

however


From: Bin Laden, Osama (Corporate Level)
To: All Al Qaeda Fighters

Subject: The Cave (Do Not Distribute Outside The Organization).

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we continue to fight a Jihad in this New Year, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota ..have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

Second , it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the s**t out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.

Third : Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth : I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy, Oy, Oy, Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

Five : Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F***S DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall. It's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Six : The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)

Finally , we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

Love you lots, Group Hug.

Os.


PS - I'm sick of having "Osama Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.

Thursday, 17 January 2008

Yippee-Ki-Yay!

Do you like Die Hard like I do? Watch this twice, and try to get the song out of your head!

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Here let Harry Potter explain it!

IN THE MEAN TIME...

bless, even evil people fall in love!

part two to follow!

Monday, 14 January 2008

The Captain

Captain Basil, late of Deepcut (No I didn't shoot the silly twats) Army Training Barracks and Basil Fawlty impersonator extraordinaire is about to debut on Drunk Punk TV.

He's my mate so be nice. ('Sides he's got some fuckin' good vids comin' along) ;-)

4D

Sunday, 13 January 2008

CAT AMONGST THE PIGEONS TIME!

no, not bros. but try this on for size.
i like it. and as a committed life long fan, that may come as a big suprise!

your views please!

Saturday, 12 January 2008

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

Monday, 7 January 2008

FUCK CHINA!!!!!

If this doesn't break you're heart you aren't human. You're scum.



Courtesy Candy Minx.